The other day, while waiting for the bell to ring to let students go to their next classes, a conversation between students caught me in my tracks. I stopped entering grades into the gradebook, my ears perked up, and my breath hitched. My heart was racing, and I felt like I was going to vomit.
I stayed calm and professional, of course, but everything in me wanted to just run out of the room.
"Yeah, I guess I'm the older twin. I mean I was born eight minutes before my brother. So I don't know, I guess you can call that older, but we're basically the same age."
Other students respond to that, but I can't hear them. Then he says,
"We were a MONTH early!"
When no one seems particularly impressed, he goes on, "I had jaundice too, which is where your skin is all yellow and they have to put lights on you."
Another student pipes in, as if to show him up,
"Well, when I was born, my umbilical cord was wound tightly around my neck. Like, a bunch of times. I was purple, and I wasn't moving or even breathing! Isn't that craaaazy?"
More responses that I can't hear, as I'm feeling dizzy at this point.
Then she says, "Yeah, they even put me in the stupid kid classes when I started school, because they thought I was going to be slow from not getting enough oxygen. But I never needed them."
Someone responds, "Uhhhh, no kidding, Ms. Straight A's!"
I'm dying inside.