Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Song lyrics have new meanings, don't they?

I admitted in my last post that I am a huge music snob/fanatic. For awhile I was so worried that I wouldn't be able to listen to any of the music I used to like ever again; I thought everything would remind me of my loss in a painful way. So I avoided the potential to be triggered by music by listening to absolute crap on the radio, much to the chagrin of my husband.

While I do enjoy discovering "new" music more than listening to the old stuff, there are some artists I will just never be able to keep away from. Because they are quirky, inspiring, and unique. They convey some aspect of my personality, and it's so captivating to find music that seems to speak to your soul. (Told you; I'm a music snob. Not even tryin' to hide it, people. The funny thing is that I have no intention of posting a playlist here, as I find those so "jarring" when I go to read someone's blog.)

Sometimes I hear a song that I've been infatuated with for years, but suddenly I interpret the lyrics much differently post-loss. And it's not a painful experience, as I had expected it to be.

Example: PJ Harvey's "A Place Called Home"

One day
I know
We'll find
A place of hope
Just hold on to me
Just hold on to me
Walk tight
One line
You're wanted
This time
There's no-one to blame
Just hold on to me
And I'm right on time
And the birds keep singing
And you're right on line
And the bells keep ringing } come on my love
And the battle is won
And the planes keep winging
And I'm right on time
And the girl keeps singing
I walk
I wade
Through full lands
And lonely
I stumble
I stumble
With you
I wait
To be born
With love comes the day
Just hold on to me
Now is the time to follow through, to read the signs
Now the message is sent, let's bring it to its final end


  1. For awhile I was so worried that I wouldn't be able to listen to any of the music I used to like ever again

    I felt this way too. I just couldn't bear to hear music that meant anything to me (if that makes any sense) so I listening to a lot of music that just happened to be in the charts. Even now, I find it hard to hear those songs as they remind me of my daughter and that time in my life.

    I listen to my usual music again now and yes, all the song lyrics seem to have new meanings. I like the song you've posted here but P J Harvey's 'Down By The Water' is still something I can't play. Just the 'give me my daughter' refrain that is too jarring still.

  2. Catherine, the funny thing is that I never was into PJ Harvey back when she came out with "Down By The Water". I had to listen to the song on YouTube, because I couldn't remember much of it. I see what you mean - she ends the song with so many "bring me my daughter"s. I wouldn't be able to handle that either, mama.
    That last line of the song I posted, "One day I know there'll be a place called home" - for me always evokes images of heaven and of my finally being able to be with ALL MY CHILDREN at once someday. I am not sure what I believe anymore, but my greatest wish at this point is that someday we can all be together. It killed me that I never got to hold both of my twins alive outside of my womb. : ( Home to me is where we can all be together.