Yesterday I spoke of betrayal.
Today I reflect on the AMAZING level of support I've received from the people closest to me. My family has been SO supportive, even some of my extended family members, in terms of my grief ...and also letting us know that Elias will always be loved and acknowledged as a family member through remembrance. Participating in walks, lighting candles, writing little notes, giving gifts in his honor around holidays - Elias must feel so loved as a witness to these gestures.
My true friends have been INCREDIBLE. I will NEVER forget those of you brave souls who visited my home in the early weeks after our loss. Those of you who were in awe of Evelyn, held her in your arms, and then held me as I cried. Never in a million years did I imagine that people who haven't known this pain could be so supportive, but they were, and they still are. I had heard that after you lose a child, your friends stop being able to relate to you, and you gravitate to only talking to people who have also suffered the same loss. That is simply FALSE. My non-loss friends have lifted me up and reminded me of my dynamic identity. They've helped me be able to laugh again (without guilt!), to celebrate life, and to find myself. Some of them have known me for years, others only came into my life recently, but together they've woven a gorgeous blanket of support around me that I'm thankful for every day. I wish I had a photo to post of you all.
My husband has been my rock and constant support. We all know that people grieve differently, but it's about mutual respect for one another's mode of grieving. It's okay to go different ways, as long as you end up finding each other again. I'm sure I wasn't an easy person to be around, especially during that time of just waiting for William to arrive. I luckily had two extra weeks of leave due to Christmas break which allowed me to go in for check ups as often as I needed to, and my incredible OB saw me even when the office was closed. I can't thank him enough for his support!
I am skipping the pic for this one, because I don't have a photo of all these incredible people in one place, plus I don't want to plaster photos of other people all over a public blog. : - )
It still feels good to share my thoughts.