It must be very difficult
To be a man in grief.
Since "men don't cry" and "men are strong"
... No tears can bring relief.
It must be very difficult
To stand up to the test.
And field calls and visitors
So that she can get some rest.
They always ask if she's alright
And what she's going through.
But seldom take his hand and ask,
"My friend, how are you?"
He hears her cry in the night
And thinks his heart will break.
And dries her tears and comforts her
But "stays strong" for her sake.
It must be very difficult
To start each day anew.
And try to be so very brave-
He lost his baby too.
"A Father’s Grief"
By Eileen Knight Hagemeister
Sunday, September 25, 2011
International Bereaved Fathers Day
(Previously known as International Babylost Fathers Day...not sure why the name changed...I like the "Babylost" adjective personally because that is a descriptive term SO many of us use in this community...If any of you know why Carly changed the name, please explain. I'm just wondering is all. Regardless, I think it's a wonderful thing that she has made this an international holiday. xoxo)
Today, in remembrance of all the babylostfathers I know personally and all over the world, I share this photo taken by Carly Marie along with a poem. You are all such amazing fathers in the way you honor your precious babies through living your lives to make them proud, supporting your wives, and finding your way toward hope in a time of darkness. Please do remember that you need support too, that you deserve support, and that many people care about you and want to honor your baby's memory along with you.
It must be very difficult
To be a man in grief.
Since "men don't cry" and "men are strong"
... No tears can bring relief.
It must be very difficult
To stand up to the test.
And field calls and visitors
So that she can get some rest.
They always ask if she's alright
And what she's going through.
But seldom take his hand and ask,
"My friend, how are you?"
He hears her cry in the night
And thinks his heart will break.
And dries her tears and comforts her
But "stays strong" for her sake.
It must be very difficult
To start each day anew.
And try to be so very brave-
He lost his baby too.
"A Father’s Grief"
By Eileen Knight Hagemeister
It must be very difficult
To be a man in grief.
Since "men don't cry" and "men are strong"
... No tears can bring relief.
It must be very difficult
To stand up to the test.
And field calls and visitors
So that she can get some rest.
They always ask if she's alright
And what she's going through.
But seldom take his hand and ask,
"My friend, how are you?"
He hears her cry in the night
And thinks his heart will break.
And dries her tears and comforts her
But "stays strong" for her sake.
It must be very difficult
To start each day anew.
And try to be so very brave-
He lost his baby too.
"A Father’s Grief"
By Eileen Knight Hagemeister
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The picture and the poem are so beautiful.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if babylost changed to bereaved in order to include fathers of older children, rather than simply infants?
Beautiful post. My husband really struggled showing his emotions. So hard :(
ReplyDeleteI wanted to tell you that I'm hosting a blogfest for mothers who have lost infants or children. I would love it if you could join us and share your story. Thanks for your time.
-Elisa
Here's that link:
http://ecwrites.blogspot.com/2011/09/only-50-more-days-until-golden-sky.html?showComment=1317367512296#c7067417673821287452
A lot of people I know prefer the term "babylost" and I know that I'm in the minority because I like "bereaved" better. I'm not sure why. I guess I like the dictionary definition of bereaved (I wrote a blog post about it in the early days of my grief) and I shy away from the terms that feel like they are sugarcoating things (like angelversary -- a lot of people find comfort in that term, but I personally don't care for it). However, someone told me that they see the word "babylost" as meaning that you're sentenced to wander through this world searching for your lost loved one, and I understand that feeling.
ReplyDeleteEither way, the fathers get less attention and deserve so much, for the love they have for their babies and the way they take care of their wives.
Hi, I was doing research about International Bereaved Father's Day and found your page...and cannot find the FB page (by CarlyMarie). Did I miss something? Does anyone (do you) know if it has changed or if it became some other project? I have founded the same kind of page for the Francophone bereaved community and I find it very hard as a mother (woman) to come up with awareness for men... Thanks for any answer!
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