Sunday, June 10, 2012
Get Over It?
Is there ANY circumstance or context in which it is appropriate for someone to say, "I think she just needs to get over it already" when speaking of a mother who has lost her child? Is there ANY way that could possibly be construed as someone who is caring but had their words come out "the wrong way"?
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No WAY!!!! Those people that say that just try to cover their ignorance as "it came out wrong". UGH, so sorry! ((hugs))
ReplyDeleteNo.
ReplyDeleteUgh. I'm guessing someone said this to you? I hope not and that this is a hypothetical question you ask. I certainly don't think it's appropriate. Perhaps someone said that, worried that the mother was too focused on death and grief and that this was hindering their healing? Who knows. I just know that you can't just get over it, and you can't just automatically focus your energy on something else. We all grief differently and there isn't a wrong way to do it. Hugs to you. <3
ReplyDeleteNo, I really don't think that's ever ok. I'm really sorry if someone said that to you - ?
ReplyDeleteI don't think it is could ever be appropriate or caring myself. But people who have not lost a child do not understand that it is not something that you ever 'get over.'
ReplyDeleteI do try to give people the benefit of the doubt and hope that their intentions are kind. I know it is not always easy to say the right thing in difficult circumstances, I'm sure I've said the wrong thing myself many, many times.
A friend sent this link to me today, perhaps you could forward it on?
http://missinglarry.com/2012/05/30/for-those-of-you-who-believe-you-could-lose-your-child-tomorrow-and-still-be-who-you-are-today-2/
NO
ReplyDeleteI don't even know what else to say that does not involve a lot of swearing or wishing ill on people who would say that.
None that I can think of. I would be very offended if anyone ever suggested that to me or about me.
ReplyDeleteNope, not in my book.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I don't think it's ever appropriate for us to assume what another person needs. I've told myself over and over again that no one is trying to hurt my feelings, but what I do have to remind myself is that some people are selfish. They want you to get "over it" for them, not for you. If they had you in mind when they spoke, they would ask "what do you need?" If they ask or consider where you're coming from, they'd realize you never get over it.
ReplyDeleteNope.
ReplyDeleteNo. Just no. It's wrong on so many levels. "It" dehumanises our children. I'm not "getting over IT", I am grieving for my baby, a human being, a soul. To reduce my child to "It" dehumanises the person saying it too with their inability to express compassion or empathy.
ReplyDeleteAnd "getting over" - I understand the blissfully ignorant thinking that there is an end point to this but I wish they would at least do us the courtesy of listening to us and believing us when we tell them otherwise.