Sunday, September 18, 2011

Pink Bear, Blue Bear

Did that really just happen??? Did I REALLY just have to sit and listen to a woman talk about her boy girl twin pregnancy for over a half an hour? Oh, and did I mention that her boy girl twin pregnancy was SIXTEEN FREAKING YEARS AGO?!?!?! How is that even RELEVANT? The people around her weren't even asking her questions or prompting her or anything; she just kept flapping her jaw as if she couldn't stop or couldn't think of any other topic worth talking about.

Does the universe just HATE ME?!?!?!

I have very good reason to believe this woman knows very well about our loss. We know mutual people. That is all I’m going to say. And yet she sits at the same table I’m at, of all the tables in the room, and proceeds to gab to the people sitting with her about her pregnancy that happened almost two decades ago…!?!??!

Blah blah blah blah blah. Really?!?!

Did she just NOT know? And if she DIDN’T know, why does she feel the need to go ON AND ON about her pregnancy like she’s a freaking celebrity for a half an hour + ??? Is she OCTOMOM? Does she want an award?

And if she DID know about my loss…I just don’t even know what to say to finish that sentence. I am going to hold myself back, since I do not know who will be reading this. And in my mind I am going to tell myself that she really didn't know, because any other scenario makes my blood freaking BOIL. But omg.

I know this sounds incredibly narcissistic, but I can't help but feel The Universe is flipping me the bird yet again. Twisting the knife yet again. Saying, "Why don't you just go kill yourself already? Don't you know, I'm trying my best to egg you on? Why don't you just give UP already instead of taking my insults OVER AND OVER?!"

I had to leave the party after only an hour, because I feared a very public meltdown.

Did I mention that today had already been an incredibly difficult one for me? As in, BEFORE listening to this women flaunt her twin "superpowers"?

Just ask my husband.

He’s the one who found me sitting on the floor of the nursery, sobbing hysterically, rocking back and forth, clutching a pink teddy bear in one arm and a blue teddy bear in the other.


  1. I'm sorry you're having a rough day.

    Some people are stupid, plain and simple. I'm sorry you had to deal with out of these today.

  2. I wish I had a real life mute button for people.

    I'm sorry - Hope your day gets a little better.

  3. I'm so sorry. I can only hope that this lady didn't know that you had lost your little boy. I don't much like hearing about twin pregnancies either. And yes, sometimes it does feel like the Universe is out to get you. xo

  4. I would have just looked at that woman and told her flatly that I lost a child and do not feel like having this discussion right now. What an idiot. I am angry for you. I am sorry you are dealing with such idiots

  5. People are so very unaware. Even if she knew, she doesn't KNOW that it would hurt you. I have to (try) remember that when people talk about babies ALL AROUND ME ALL THE TIME and I question why they wouldn't even hesitate, knowing that the very "thing" they flippantly discuss is what has completely broken me in two.

    I have to stand on thinking that people are simply ignorant and have no tact. I don't feel like I was even close to this ignorant before baby loss, but I guess some people have never been dealt a horrific blow like we have and therefore have no idea how to handle themselves respectfully in our presence.

    I'm so sorry. It's terrible and people can be selfish jerks. There's just no other way around it.

  6. I am sorry. Sorry it's been a rough day and sorry for the insensitivity of the other mother.