Saturday, December 10, 2011
Soon
Soon I will update you on what ONE YEAR post-loss feels like. That was yesterday for us. Today we are preparing for our daughter's birthday bash for tomorrow. I will say this - I'm feeling pulled apart by the seams - grieving my son who I wish had turned one year old yesterday while celebrating my daughter who DID turn a year old. I put together a Facebook event and was overwhelmed by the support of both people in AND out of the loss community. It helps, in my opinion, to allow them to have their own separate days (as much as possible). Grieving and partying at the same time don't really jive, do they? *sigh* I will write a "one year" post soon.
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Bittersweet doesn't even cover it, I'm sure. I can only try and imagine what it must feel like, but having two living children and one dead (and my newest living child was born on the three year anniversary of my daughter's death) I have some understanding.
ReplyDeleteAll my love to you.
xo
Such a happy/sad occasion. I think you will find the balance of being joyful for your daughter and sad for your son. I think it is possible for the two to live side by side.
ReplyDeleteYour emotions must be so conflicted. Luckily, I was left with my own tears and sadness and no balloons are cute kid decorations to deal with.
ReplyDeleteTo be in both worlds with your daughter and yearning for your son must be so complicated. I suppose I'll know a bit better once I have a living child, but even so, the same anniversaries will not match as yours do.
Looking forward to reading... despite the emotions. Thinking of you and your children.
Big hugs to you Lindsay...I wish both our boys were here to celebrate their birthdays with their sisters. It's such an incredibly difficult day to say the least. As much as we wanna celebrate our survivor, the pain of our loss always outweighs the celebration... Mine is coming up next month. It will be 3 years and I still dread it.
ReplyDeleteI can only begin to imagine grieving and celebrating so close together. I am sorry it isn't different, it should be. It so should be.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, both for sharing your feelings on your blog and for commenting on mine (I did find you on the Bump and had meant to comment). If you wouldn't mind connecting, please email me at meganalicem at gmail.com. I have received the latest CLIMB newsletter but havent connected with the Facebook group and would love to.
ReplyDeleteHappy belated birthday to your twins and I'm so sorry about the loss of your daughter.